She is not your donor. You’re one of her charities.

And this is not unusual

This picture isn’t unusual

It shows a donor’s personal giving record book. It was taken during a meeting between a Bluefrog researcher and a supporter.

What’s striking is that the reason we spoke to this donor is because just one of the charities listed in that book, passed their details to us to discuss why they chose to the support their work.

That's where my line "She is not your donor. You are one of her charities" comes from.

When I share images like this with fundraisers, the reaction is often surprise that a donor would take so much care to document their giving. But this is far from rare.

We’ve seen special bank accounts set up. Binders filled with appeals, thank-you letters and reports annotated with dates and donation amounts. Filing cabinets organised by charity. Press cuttings. Many handwritten notes. One donor even showed us a folder of Christmas cards from a celebrity patron.

Donors do this because you matter to them, just like their money matters to them.

That’s why they keep track. They want to understand whether they did the right thing by giving to you.

In a world where trust in institutions is in decline, the way you treat them becomes a powerful proxy for how you deliver on the work they care about.

Many compare how they're treated across different charities. And while poor treatment might not immediately stop them giving (especially if they strongly believe in your mission), it will stop them upgrading. It will stop them considering a legacy. It will stop them giving again when asked next time.

This is the double-edged sword of donor insight.

The truth is, when we really listen to donors, what we hear often clashes with what charities want to do. And that can be uncomfortable.

That’s why I can say with confidence:

🛑 Most rebrands are unnecessary distractions.
🛑 Changing your charity name (without a powerful reason) will stall your income.
🛑 Value-exchange or engagement products rarely deliver a positive ROI.
🛑 Good newsletters work – really work.
🛑 Most very heavy email schedules deliver diminishing returns (especially with younger supporters).
🛑 Thanking and reporting back is the most intelligent use of budget you can make.
🛑 Enclosures that help donors feel special are worth every penny.
🛑 Referencing a donor’s past support in future appeals builds loyalty and income.
🛑 Donors give on their schedule – not yours.
🛑 And yes, if you break the unwritten rules of their giving – many donors will quietly walk away.

I could go on. But the point is this:

Real donor insight doesn’t always support the ideas that sound good in the boardroom or win the internal presentation. Sometimes, it tells you not to do the exciting new thing. Sometimes, it challenges the plan you’ve already started executing.

That’s why research can be difficult. It’s also why it’s so valuable. But it's also why speaking to donors before you make a significant investment should also be something else.

It should be usual.